i miss being a prefect...

last night i dreamt that i was in school running from one corridor to another looking for ppl..teachers...things to do...and as i headed towards my class, i made a wrong turn and ended up at the wrong class...i walked in and accidentally kicked an empty bottle and cooly sat down at my seat...

any other student would get angry stares and be rudely chased away from that class.. but in my dream, i got a smile from the teacher and envious stares from the others...

thats wat i miss about being a prefect...recognition with respect...

teachers wont simply bitch at u for every mistake u make...they seem to be more understanding towards prefects...when u come in late to class...dont finish ure homework...dont flush the toilet...sigh...

i miss skool...i miss thanes...khairi...shirley...ranjit...salma...zaleha and latifah...

they were teachers who understood students...i think anyways...

u didnt need to be prefects for these teachers to smile at u...just big penises...

hahahaha i was kidding....

about having being a prefect...

 ps....no ps this time...

pss...WAT!??!?! NO PS?!??!?!?!?

pss....GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP

everything seems so mindnumbingly empty(dont know of i spelt mindnumbingly correctly) im afraid of something so scary that i dont even know wat it is...its like...i fear just...THERE...i dont know how to overcome it...i dont know how to even face it...heck i dont even know wat it is...normally i tend to ignore things that are out of my control...but  i cant seem to let this go

maybe its coz of exams...maybe im so stressed that im getting anxiety attacks...in the weirdest of ways...the only times i feel really secure is when im looking at the stick get shorter and shorter...or the cup get emptier and emptier...it always seems to end...and then...anxiety again...i cant seem to run from it...and hiding isnt working...why do i feel so alone?

i hope no one reads this entry...im getting thoughts i never even knew i had in the first place...its like...all hitting me now...and no...its not coz i just read larkin...and no...its not coz i just found out that exams are like 384 hours away...i dont know wat it is...

hahaha no my usual entry...i dont know wats happening to me...its like...all of a sudden... one minute im with roshan...the next...im here being depressed...hahaha thats not me...fuck it must be roshan..that son of a bitch...(figure of speech aunty)

did u know that sir james stephen dissed JS Mill? he said that there is no distinction between law and morality...he also said that theres no distinction between harm to others and harm to onesself...any form of vice should be punished...Sir James Stephen also said that the majority always wins...but wat if the majority is WRONG?!?!?! then what u son of a bitch?

majority could be wrong...and IF the majority is wrong...ive got nothing to worry about... its true...it all comes down to law la i guess...the answer to all my confusion...is to study... HAHhAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

thats the biggest load of SHIT *hand gesture* ive ever said...fuck law...i hate it...

u know...when ure depressed...ure blog entry seems to flow freely like diarrhoea of a water buffalo...

hahaha watever...in like 10 minutes ill be back to myself...im just fucking afraid of exams coz i feel expectations are too high...as usual...PUKIMAK...

ps...everything thats posted here...secret...dont tell anyone ah...

pss...dont be a pirate...be a doctor...

pss...ive been taken for more than 7 months now...muahahaha :)

REJOOOOOOOOOOOOOICE...I HAVE UPDATED...WAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a lots been happenin maaaaan...ive been with suzanna for 5 months now (more or less).... (less)..and im still as happy as i ever was...exams are over...not too happy in that department though...siiiiiiigh...results are coming out near my birthday.......

.......FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

not a-fucking-gain...this same bullshit happened for my spm...im gonna get calls from EVERYONE 'hey happy birthday...by the way...how did u do?'

sigh...i cant escape ANY relative...not even the ones with irritating perfect children... who sulk when they get 87% for bio...mother fuckers...

just so the world knows...fish is now officially my favourite side dish to eat with banana leaf...not just any fish...fried spanish mackarel...not just any fried spanish mackarel... the fried spanish makarel at brickfields...from now on...its banana leaf and TWO fried spanish mackarels...

in other news...borange will be hitting the stage again...after a long absence... we shall be playing at the infomatics prom night on the 3rd of march...ON MOHANS BIRTHDAY !!

and 7 days before my birthday hint hint...to all my friends who are going to buy me presents (esp GIRL friend) nyehehehe...

I GOT NEW futsal shoes also wei...180 dollars worth...i think im boring everyone with all this crap...

shashi and i wrote 2 and a half songs last friday.. i say half because 'no woman no cry' is not completely ours...in fact its not ours at all...we just changed the lyrics...ok lah...we wrote 2 songs on friday...hahaha...

aiyoooooooooo i dont know how to blog any more... i have nothing interesting to talk about...ok lah im stopping here for now...this amount of updates should keep nadiah and elaine quiet for the next 2 months when ill have to update again...

seeya peeps...

ps...everything thats posted here...secret...dont tell anyone ah...

pss...i cant think of a pss....

psss....still cant think of a pss

oh my how our standards have dropped...

in march...i was disapointed coz i got 6 a's and not 8 for spm...now...im almost more than content with getting more than 20 for all my literature assesments...i dont know if its coz my standards have dropped...or coz the papers are getting tougher...watever it is...i cant get over the fact that im happy with 20+...hahahah...oh well...

i just hope im not smiling when i come home with all passes and no A's for my finals and my parents start crying in front of me...waving the receipt from when they paid my college fees....

in other news...BORANGE IS ALMOST DONE WITH THEIR FIRST SINGLE 'NEVER AROUND' (pls see earlier entries for lyrics)

we completed the vocals today along with the music and everything...now all thats gotta be done is the masterring of the music and its FINITO...dont know about the rest of the bands that are sposed to be in the compilation though...apparently there are a lot of bands that arent done yet...so we're looking at a feb release of the compilation....hopefully we get our hands on OUR song before the cd is released...then we can start distributing earlier...hmmmmm....greedy greedy...

oh yah...HAPPY BDAY DEBBIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ok lah...i gtg now...u guys take care la ok...

ps...everything thats posted here...secret...dont tell anyone ah...

pss...except the debbie thing...tell everyone about debbies bday...

psss...bye mum...save a place for me in heaven...and not one of those too quiet places...there has to be a football field...and a mamak shop...AT LEAST...i love u...

pssss...sorry about all the mistakes again...too lazy to double check